Sunday, May 30, 2010

Something Krishnamurti said in a conversation I just read took my breath away. I hope this excerpt makes sense out of context. I have a feeling it can stand alone; do let me know if it doesn't.

Questioner: I shall have to go into this very, very deeply.

Krishnamurti: But this also can become an occupation which becomes an escape. If you see this with complete clarity it is like the flight of the eagle that leaves no mark in the air.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

The only thing I can do

I cry easily. When anyone speaks to me with strong disapproval, crying is the immediate habitual response. No matter what is said, however true or untrue or even silly it is, tears well up – and often it is the physical reaction that comes first. Strong emotion and a particular pattern of thought tend to follow the tears.

One way to move with this is through thought – by changing my conditioned response and my patterns of thought. It would not be too difficult to convince myself of the absurdity of my response, to dig into why it started to happen so I might change it, to remind myself to take deep breaths or even just observe my breath at the time of my reaction, and more likely than not, the reaction would die down and in time fade away.

I could go quite far with this sort of modification of thought. I could condition myself to become a much happier person – calmer, less reactive, less impatient –I’d be end up being nicer to people, so people would be nicer to me; it would all get pleasanter and pleasanter!

But I am sure I do not want to do this. There is no desire in me to ‘get over’ this reaction. Sure, it makes things difficult sometimes – I burst out crying in staff meetings and all kinds of possibly embarrassing situations, I cannot always be clear about what I want to say, and self-images are frequently and grotesquely punctured.

There truly is no desire to modify thought because I see how limited that is. I see that the self may get subtler and subtler, but the division still remains. Because there is deep concern with the most fundamental separation, because I want to find out if it can completely come to an end, and because it is clear that to condition myself would only be moving away from this question, it is impossible to do.

I am trying to say a rather subtle thing… I’m not saying I want to continue to be neurotic so that I have enough opportunity to observe the self in action. I‘m not saying I will be what ‘I am’ instead of suppressing my true emotions, or that I will remain stuck and put everyone else through my emotional mess.

Interestingly, just the action of not moving away brings about a sort of flexibility. Sometimes the reaction just dissolves, or the physical reaction happens but I remain completely clear and articulate through it, sometimes it does not even arise. I can address it with people when I see it limiting a relationship. And often I just go through the full-blown reaction. But I will stress that not-moving-away is not another more effective method to get rid of the reaction. It is the only thing I can do.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

How the intellect can run ahead, creating an image of deep enquiry, while your life, each actual non-verbal moment of your life, is untouched by goodness and clarity!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

rusty cages
stuffed with chickens like cotton in pillows
show me how far i'd like to run
from my own suffering

Monday, May 24, 2010


I can remind you that we see little and know little
but much goes on behind the scenes.

I can prod you to confront your disbelief
and dig out facts for yourself
go ask the milkman, visit the slaughterhouse
make the links.

I can help you do that.

But I cannot lift you
out of the dead weight of habit.
I cannot knead your mind
to make it pliable, young, innocent.
Nor can I uncloud your eyes
so you might see afresh
the wonder of life
and the immediacy of truth.
I cannot lighten your footsteps
slow your thoughts down
or fill your heart.
Words that sound right,
songs that are meaningful,
and work that is useful,
need love to ring true.
stuck in honey
desperately in love with life

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Being Consistent

When I find the very same person
in each face

Ask some questions
but not others

Feel the same words
on my tongue
all the time

I know I am being consistent

I've lost the rhythm of the universe

there can be...

there can be
without unhappiness
or despair

with no craving
or movement
towards anything

without satisfaction
or perfection