Soon enough you realise

trying to be nothing

creates a thing with hard edges.

In the same breath you understand

the tremendous importance

of nothingness.

Leaf Skeleton

I've crushed young saplings, silken wings,
and all things new and tender
a hundred different ways each day.

I've built fortresses separating Them
from Us, in all degrees of subtlety.
Words have found their way to the tongue
only because they'd been there before.
I've looked at myself in mirrors
just to see what I wanted to be.
Spoken to be heard, been silent in fear,
and loved to be loved in return.

I've crushed everything sacred and lovely
every hour, every day, and yet
this moment unfurls like a bud
opening to the world the first time --
delicate as the skeleton of a leaf,
holding no trace of what has been.

rusty cages

stuffed with chickens like cotton in pillows

show me how far i'd like to run

from my own suffering

Reminder

I can remind you that we see little and know little

but much goes on behind the scenes.

I can prod you to confront your disbelief

and dig out facts for yourself

go ask the milkman, visit the slaughterhouse

make the links.

I can help you do that.

But I cannot lift you

out of the dead weight of habit.

I cannot knead your mind

to make it pliable, young, innocent.

Nor can I uncloud your eyes

so you might see afresh

the wonder of life

and the immediacy of truth.

I cannot lighten your footsteps

slow your thoughts down

or fill your heart.

Words that sound right,

songs that are meaningful,

and work that is useful,

need love to ring true.

ant

stuck in honey

desperately in love with life

Being Consistent

When I find the very same person

in each face

Ask some questions

but not others

Feel the same words

on my tongue

all the time

I know I am being consistent

I've lost the rhythm of the universe

there can be...

there can be

discontent

without unhappiness

or despair

hunger

with no craving

or movement

towards anything

delight

without satisfaction

fulfillment

comfort

or perfection

stepping out

stepping out

out of home

out of self

eyes reflect the green glow

of sky through the top leaves

of trees never still,

never without shadows

two squirrels weaving

up and down

absorbed in their play,

their dance, their love

yet completely aware

of me

as i step out of home

paying for vegetables,

eyes locked a split second longer

smile widening ever so slightly

my "thank you" infused

with the beauty

and specialness

of the cashier in her uniform

infused with the aching joy

the light-headed rush

of love

Shards

Curled tight under blankets

you spin threads and tears.

He will come if you call enough,

with nimble fingers to unknot your heart.

Spiraling strangling ball of thread

sucks in your heart and limbs and lungs

till you can breathe no longer

and you take your tangle

to him with no hope of unwinding.

He would not have come,

for across the walls he is asleep.

Ball of nausea squeezing inward,

tighter and tighter,

compressed into the tiniest shard of glass.

The tiniest shard of heart

unexposed.

Heart of shards, shatter!

Shatter hopelessly, shatter threadlessly,

shatter in wonder of street lights.

With a single breath of night air,

shatter in joy.

The Rain!

stones on wet roads

only hurt the feet

when the sky clears

A Wish

I wish I could show you the glory of that tree in evening light, its honeyed leaves trembling in almost still air then shivering splendidly in breathless gusts of breeze, light and shadows flickering over me as I lay beneath, my back arched and pampered in Setu Bandha Saravangasana.

(Is it true that when you've finished reading 'Setu Bandha Sarvangasana' you've forgotten everything that came before? :D)

Roly, Asleep

On her back, she is vulnerable
as a marshmallow on a stick --
stomach bare to the universe.
Her top lip falls heavy, exposing
play-tiger teeth.
She breathes out sleep-scent,
stirs out dog-scent,
paws thrown out like a child's
quivering as she dreams.

Buzz

Festering pain
Buzzing thoughts
Hiding, peeking
Smoothing, smothering
Then the question:
Comfort or truth?
Vulnerability or a wall?
There is no choice
and far less buzz.